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18 December 202218 December 2022

Building Inspectors, Soakwells and a Slab

We decided to appoint an independent building inspector. We had read on other blogs as well as the community FB site, that this was a much better option than relying on the builder’s inspections. And I got to thinking that the concept of a builder inspecting their own work must be a conflict of interests. Like family lawyers reviewing and shaping the very family law system that makes them rich. What quality improvements would a lawyer recommend, if there was the possibility of improving our adversarial family law system, and potentially reducing their revenue? Surely builders are the same – why would they recommend changes that lead to more work and less profits? Mind you – at least builders don’t make it illegal to criticise the Building Standards. You try telling a family lawyer they’re “less than effective”. Have you ever fired a lawyer? I have – they don’t like it!

You’re fired! One of my ex-lawyers bit the dust because he was always late, wet (literally sometimes, he’d just stepped out of a shower), incompetent and wouldn’t do as he was told. And I made him photocopy my entire (voluminous) file, so the next lawyer could benefit from the alleged work I had paid for over the year. I’m not keen on lawyers.

We’ve chosen HousPect Building Inspections. They lost the E, the I, the N and the S when creating their portmanteau. I think they donated it to One German. Anyway, that’s a bit obscure – I mentioned it once but I think I got away with it. HousPect gave us a good deal – while individual inspection companies were asking a bit more for each inspection, our new thicket of Clouseaus gave us a package deal for a set of inspections that started at slab down, went through the stages of brickwork to plate height, roof framing and roof cover, lock up and water proofing to all wet areas, and ultimately finishing with the Practical Completion/Handover. Five inspections in total for a smidge over 2K. We thought that was good value for money, and will bring us great peace of mind.

New soakwells have been delivered – don’t they look sexy?

They will be filling two large voids underneath our garage driveway, as you can see in the plans, they are depicted by the two circles directly in front of the garage door. They are apparently very important; I know this because HousPect has written an article on them: “THE IMPORTANCE OF SOAKWELLS ON WESTERN AUSTRALIAN PROPERTIES“. Obviously not so important in the Eastern States, or Matabeleland.

The plan clearly shows the intended soakwells, and it looks like we were delivered what’s on the plan. When I started in computer programming (40 years ago LOL), we had to write zeros with a diagonal line through them, and ones with a small line underneath. Obviously, to differentiate them from ‘O’s and ‘L’s. So, to me, the label at the end of the circles’ arrow line reads L/L5OO0 and not 1/1500 diameter. I hope you’re as confused as I am. Now you know how I feel, every single bloody day.

The first slab down party in the street has taken place. We were invited by the fabulous Lot 1008 owners, as was the rest of Bushmead. It was a very relaxed party, starting at 5.30 last Friday. The sun was ruthless but the drinks were chilled as we stood on a great slab that had just been inspected and passed muster, listening to some great live music that had been arranged to play on the car stereo up the street. Bonza. I felt Australian. I could imagine myself driving up in a Ute with red-brown wheels. Meanwhile, a flock of geese joined us on the block next door, grazing and contributing their unique fertilizer.

Although the objective was to drink, socialise and enjoy, the event was also a reconnoitre exercise for our own slab party in the new year. Cedar Woods’ flyer for the sponsored slab party reads “Enjoy a slab of soft drink and a slab of sausages on the house.” Talking with neighbour Steve, what they mean by this is “we’ll chuck you a hundy, you buy what you want.” Still, even this is not to be sniffed at – and I’ll definitely be taking advantage of their wallet in the new year.

I’m not sure if I’ll have the time to write another post before Xmas. As usual, the administration, the commercial nature, the guilt, the jobs, and the general HUMBUG of Xmas is replacing anything useful or enjoyable in my life. So here’s a picture of Bob the Builder, who wishes you a very happy Xmas and a prosperous New Year, on my behalf. Cheers, and Bah!

3 thoughts on “Building Inspectors, Soakwells and a Slab”

  1. Chrisso says:
    18 December 2022 at 6:16 pm

    I’d say something on the subject of donating alphabet letters, but I prefer to remain neutral.
    In any case… it’s all forgotten now and let’s hear no more about it!

    Reply
  2. Samantha says:
    19 December 2022 at 9:11 am

    Merry Christmas Bob 🤶 🎄 ❤️ next year , Bushmead christmas, no ool .

    Reply
    1. Bushmead Admin says:
      19 December 2022 at 9:22 am

      @Samantha: Who knows, we may still be in the old house!

      Reply

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