Despite the fact that no sand has been moved on the block, and no concrete has been poured, we continue to receive multiple updates from the ‘Smart’ portal saying we have completed lots of milestones and we are officially in the Construction Stage. I thought we were there a few months ago, after admin finished, but apparently not – we were nearly there. We continue to be in a holding pattern. Maybe our paperwork is in someone’s in tray, and they are on holiday. Since we started this ‘journey of a thousand milestones’, we have seen two monarchs, two Australian Prime Ministers, a few British Prime Ministers, and war in Europe. But no concrete. No bricks. I know Rome wasn’t built in a day, but I bet they weren’t in the planning stage for the best part of the year. And what did the Romans ever do for us, anyway?
Someone’s been stealing our water. Or maybe it’s a number of thieves. In any case, we’re a few thousand litres down. I contacted the Water Corp, who were very understanding, and empathetic. But basically, tough luck. I went up to the block and looked around, and everyone’s water meter was displaying a few thousand litres, and their blocks were the same as mine, no building work and no reason to have used any water. So, a mass theft is going on. It’s only $5 in water cost, but it still made me even more grumpy than usual.
I decided to thwart the thieves by installing a cap and lock onto the tap. I got it off of Amazon, only $18. Another $25 for the lock, and securing my water only cost me $43 plus petrol to the block. No longer would anyone be able to steal $5 of water from me.
I went up to the block the other day. The cap, lock, standpipe and tap had all gone. They’d had the lot. I can only hope, as they are hacksawing the cap off that they meet with a terrible accident. This thought has given me great comfort during my darkest times.
What with the Russian war and all the shenanigans with the Chinese wanting Taiwan back, not to mention Rocket Boy joining in the fun and games, I thought I’d make sure we’d be OK when the balloon goes up. I’ve obviously got too much time on my hands. There’s a great site called NukeMap, which allows one to project the effects of surface- or air-based nuclear strikes to any selected city in the world.
Above we see a simulation of a surface-based nuclear strike, using a Topol SS-25 weapon. This nuke is currently in use by the Russians, who have recently taken the top spot in the crazy-aggressor-with-nukes leader board. This strike estimates 75,000 casualties and 108,000 injuries.
It looks like if you bought a fancy place for a couple mill around Wembley or Claremont you’re not going to end up with a good resale value after a nuclear strike. Peppermint grove would be OK if you’re closer to Freo. North to Malaga and East to the edge of the airport are gonna vaporise. Freo looks OK, but South up to Bull Creek’s also gonna fry. But out around Kalamunda? Well the good news is that we’re going to be up on our hill, watching the fireball unscathed. And the resulting fallout? Hopefully, if the winds are typical, all that’s going up North East and blowing away from our block, which is a shame because the Swan Valley wineries are up there, and we’d have to switch to Margaret River wines which are usually more expensive. Despite my increased wine bill, I’ll sleep easier tonight.
Even with the threat of Armageddon, we will still be forging ahead like surging Victorian floods. Floods of treacle that is. Still, we have a half-commitment of slab down in December, and so I hope my next post will record the joy of the slab-down party, which I must start planning…
Maybe it’s the terrorists across the road .
Next you be getting pizza delivery at your slab party.
Slab party is looking like it may be before Xmas. Maybe turkey pizza? Yuk.
For a few hundred dollars you can buy a Game Camera to get video of your water thieves.
@#Chrisso: For a fistful, or even for a few dollars more, I could get Clint Eastwood to drill them full of holes.